I don’t know about you, but I’ve been known to quit on myself.

I’ve got goals. I’ve got plans. I’ve got ideas of how I want to be that sound amazing. I start off longing for true, lasting, ingrained change. Personal growth and development interests me because a gap exists between who I am and who I want to be.

As a recovering “all or nothing girl,” I’m fully on board in the beginning. This is where the “all” kicks in. I’m abandoning the things that don’t support the goal and I’m chasing after all the tips and tricks to help me reach my goal.

Until I’m not….

As I look back over patterns in my life, there are some things that tend to derail me.

I’m guessing if you’re anything like me, you have things that disrupt your “full steam ahead” approach. Life throws curveballs, and sometimes my brain latches onto them, giving me permission to quit on my dreams and desires.

For me, it’s often stress. Change is hard, and I want to hit the easy button. Some days, it feels like all my motivation gets sucked out, as if a black hole is devouring my drive.

It could also be an unexpected turn of events I didn’t sign up for. A sense of overwhelm can make me want to just shut down. Old patterns sneak in like a dance partner, all too happy to cut in.

Familiar habits may feel safe, but they don’t lead to the destination I truly want, which is to live an abundant life in Christ, healthy and whole. I’ve heard it said that comfort zones don’t have to be comfortable—and never has a truer statement been spoken.

More often than I’d like to admit, other people’s actions or attitudes have sent me spiraling. My heart can get caught dwelling in hurt, especially after unfair interactions. In the moment, I can forget who God is—that He is with me and gives me strength. I overlook who I am in Christ, and that my identity and worth rest in Him.

Sometimes, my own all-or-nothing mentality trips me up. If I compromise or don’t do something perfectly, I feel like I’ve failed. My brain is funny—not in a “funny haha” way, but in a quirky way that quits when I mess up. Why do I think I should be able to change perfectly without shortcomings? To quit quitting, I must break up with perfectionism. For good.

Ultimately, the problem is that I stop believing change is possible because it feels too hard, and I feel weak. The trap of discouragement stops me from believing that change matters and is worth it.

But, what if my weakness is the very thing that brings me to the Lord and deepens my faith and trust in Him.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Did you catch that? Our proclivity to quit is part of our weakness, but in that weakness we have the OPPORTUNITY get to know our Heavenly Father in a deeper way. We can delight in it because Christ’s power is made perfect in our weakness. When His power rests on us and we see it clearly because He changes us from the inside out, He gets the glory. Our faith grows.

We must do something different if we want to end up somewhere different.

We go to Him when we feel like quitting. We go to Him when we’re overwhelmed and feeling all the feels. We search His Word for truth. We pray and ask for guidance and strength. We connect with Him and that changes everything.

When we are used to responding to difficulty by quitting, it takes intentionality to go a different route. It’s something you have to work through and decide before the desire to quit cuts in. Quitting the response to quit upon setbacks takes resolve, and change is hard. But I’d venture to say that, while hard, it is worth it.

If you go to the Lord when the urge to quit hits, He will give you the strength to follow Him in your challenge. Not only that, when we spend time with God, He lifts our gaze and renews our vision if we allow Him to. He convicts us of our sin so that we can align our hearts with His. I’m so thankful that He encourages us to keep moving forward, walking in step with His Holy Spirit.

I desire to be the type of person who perseveres and doesn’t give up.

As I reflect on the type of person who doesn’t give up, several qualities immediately come to mind.

• Consistent and resilient: They recognize that even small steps are forward movement. They get up quicker from setbacks. No one is going to do it perfectly. It’s all about getting up again and taking that next step that God is asking you to take.
• Passionate and purposeful: They pursue their goals with intention, understanding both the value of the goal itself and the greater purpose of leaning into the Lord to become an overcomer.
• Spiritually engaged: They view challenges as opportunities to connect with God through His Word, prayer, worship, and other spiritual practices.
• Emotionally regulated: They manage their own emotional ups and downs and respond thoughtfully to others, without allowing anyone else to derail them. They acknowledge their feelings, bringing them to God, and asking Him to meet them there for healing and understanding of where to go from here.
• Growth-oriented: They learn from mistakes and failures, trusting that God is shaping their character through the process.
• Self-aware and intentional: They make choices that consciously align with their values and long-term goals. They ask God to shine a light on anything that needs to be addressed in their own hearts, minds, relationships, or bodies.
• Resourceful and supported: They use tools, resources, community, and support from friends or professionals to keep moving forward, even when the path is difficult.

I want to be this type of person, even more than the nuances of the specific goal that I’m working towards.

To me, that seems to be an even more lofty goal than specifically not quitting running, tracking my goals, taking every thought captive, waking up at a certain time, following a certain Bible reading plan, eating healthy, or avoiding scrolling and screens.

Next Steps…For those of you who want to actually quit quitting.

Mental and Emotional Practices

Which qualities of the type of person you long to be, as listed above, resonates with you? As you think through the journal prompts below, consider who you are in Christ and the character qualities that God is wanting to refine in you.

Picture your life if you simply refused to quit on your goals. How would everything change?

Seriously… Stop… Grab a journal.

1. How do you tend to quit on yourself? Choose one specific area.
2. If you didn’t quit in that one area for an entire year—and simply kept taking small, consistent steps—where could you be twelve months from now?
3. What does quitting look like for you in this area where you’d like to see growth?
4. What does persistence look like instead?
5. What small step of growth could you take today?
6. When old thought patterns show up, how can you respond differently?
7. What does God say about who you are in Christ as it relates to this area?
8. What does God say about Himself? If you depended on Him here, how might your relationship with Him deepen?
9. Invite the Holy Spirit to shine His light on this area. Ask Him to help you develop a sustainable plan—one that includes how you want to approach your goal, who or what will help you stay accountable, and what the next faithful steps should be. Spend some time in prayer, asking the Lord for wisdom, clarity, and courage to move forward without quitting.

Spiritual Practices

The Bible talks a lot about perseverance. One of my favorite passages is Hebrews 12. Spend some time working through that passage. God calls us to fix our eyes on Him. He is the author and perfecter of our faith. We are to throw off anything that hinders us and the sin that so easily entangles. Ask the Lord to show you how this passage applies to your life.

Physical Practices

In Hebrews, the author compares living for the Lord to running a race. There is something about physically training for an event that helps you keep your eyes on the goal. Consider signing up for an event that would involve some training (a walk, a run, a bike race, a triathlon, or the like.) Pick something that is a stretch for you, but doable. Then you will get to practice perseverance and moving your body.

Relational Practices

If you are considering signing up for a physical activity event (see above,) ask a friend to do it with you. When we have accountability and include a social component in it, we are more likely to continue through on the hard days. Plus, it is fun to do things together.

Also, coaching is a great opportunity to work through this topic. I’d love to work with you to take the steps to quit quitting on yourself.

May the God who never quits on you help you stop quitting on yourself.