This post is part of a series. If you haven’t yet read “A Journey to Health: An Invitation to Walk Through the “Fair” Differently,” you may want to start there. Click the link below to get a better understanding of where we’re headed with this series.
I don’t know about you, but sometimes my life feels like a merry-go-round that keeps bringing me back to the same place. I make the same choices, repeat the same patterns, and struggle with the same things. I keep going round and round, wishing I could somehow end up somewhere different.
Sometimes the carousel’s cycle is based on the seasons. We start the new year with high expectations and a fresh resolve. Then swimsuit season approaches, and we’re motivated to get serious. Maybe fall will be the time we finally nail this because we’ll be back in a routine. And so it goes, round and round.
Other times, the carousel spins much faster. Monday morning becomes the ultimate reset, but that fresh start may last until Friday—or maybe only until Monday afternoon. Then, of course, I need to wait until next Monday to start again because I messed up. And around and around I go.
A few weeks ago, I hopped off that carousel while it was still spinning.
It was a Thursday morning at about 8 a.m.
Wait, what? You can make a change on a Thursday?
Whoa. That’s pretty life-altering.
It wasn’t even the beginning of the month—it was mid-month. Mid-month, mid-week. No special date. No fresh page on the calendar. Just a Thursday morning.
And that’s when I stepped off..
It began as a decision and then I drew a line in the sand.
I decided that I wanted to see what would happen if I quit quitting on myself for six months. A few months ago, I wrote a blog about that very topic.
But then we had a wedding, our house flooded with sewage, an unexpected death shook me, work stress became overwhelming, and old habits began to sneak back in.
My line in the sand involved dumping out half of one of my favorite bottles of wine.
You see, the night before, I had every intention of eating healthy and drinking water. But after a long day, my heart wanted to press the “easy button,” so I found myself ordering Chinese food and opening a nice bottle of wine.
The next day, as I was cleaning up, I had a realization: If I kept that wine, I’d find a reason to enjoy the rest of the bottle Thursday night. And then, well, it would be the weekend, so I might as well wait until Monday morning to start again.
That was it.
It was as if the midway lights suddenly illuminated my wrong thinking, and I was struck by the lunacy of it all. I could see exactly where this ride was headed because I’d been on it before.
And so, I dumped it out.
I prayed and asked God to help me align what I believe with how I live. And in my heart, I knew I had made a choice. I had stepped off my crazy carousel. I was choosing to walk forward toward my goals instead of continuing the round-and-round nonsense that never got me anywhere—except dizzy.
I’ve desired change in the past and made decisions in the past, but somehow, this one was different.
You see, I wasn’t deciding that I was going to lose 50 pounds by a certain date. I wasn’t deciding that I would never eat another carb. I wasn’t deciding to shape-shift my body to meet someone else’s expectations.
I was deciding that I needed a lifestyle shift for the long term. I was deciding to live out what I believe and to not quit on my goals, all the while keeping my eyes on Jesus, who is the author of my life and the perfecter of my faith. He made me, and He is continually sanctifying me and making me more like Him. “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.” (Hebrews 12:1-2a)
The truth is, some of the things I’m choosing to “throw off” are sin, while others are simply hindrances. But both can trip me up, tire me out, and keep me from running the race God has called me to run.
I believe I’m called to take care of the body God has given me and to live out the mission He’s given me. I also believe that when a day is hard and something inside me says, “Just scratch that itch,” what starts as a moment of comfort can become an idol when I repeatedly turn to it instead of turning to God.
I know in my head that those things don’t truly satisfy. Yet they still call my name, and too often, I’ve answered.
The things that trip me up might be different from the things that trip you up, but that’s where it gets fun—call it an adventure! This journey through life is one we don’t have to navigate alone. We have a companion in the Holy Spirit, who is our guide, our counselor, and our strength. He will help us navigate what it means in each of our lives to “fix our eyes on Jesus” and “throw off every hindrance and the sin that so easily entangles us.”
Maybe you’ve been riding your own carousel for years. Maybe your cycle lasts a few months, a few weeks, or sometimes only a few hours. Maybe you keep waiting for Monday, January 1, the beginning of the month, or the next season to make a change.
But what if you didn’t wait?
What if today was the day you stepped off?
Not because you finally found the perfect plan. Not because you suddenly have more willpower. Not because you’re promising yourself you’ll never mess up again. But because you’ve decided to stop quitting on yourself and start living out what you believe.
The Holy Spirit is with you. And the race God has called you to run is yours—not mine, not your neighbor’s, and not the world’s version of what your life should look like.
So, what is God asking you to throw off? What is weighing you down? What sin keeps tripping you up and pulling your eyes away from Jesus?
Maybe it’s time to step off the carousel.
The ride has taken you round and round long enough. It’s time to run.
Next Steps: Getting Off The Carousel
SPIRITUAL
Read through Hebrews 12:1-3 several times. Prayerfully ask God to show you truth.
- What do you observe?
- What does this passage mean?
- How does it apply to my life (get specific)?
Spend some time in prayer asking God to help you as you seek to obey Him and apply this passage in your life.
EMOTIONAL
We often turn to things like food or alcohol to meet emotional needs, even though they often end up making the problem worse. Logically, this doesn’t make sense. But when we’re operating from a place of strong emotion, our limbic system—the part of the brain involved in emotions, motivation, and reward—can take the driver’s seat, making it harder to think through the long-term consequences of our choices.
With curiosity—and without judgment—step back and observe your own merry-go-round. Look for patterns that aren’t serving you well. Do you notice certain emotions that tend to trigger your responses or send you reaching for the same old comforts?
When I’m working through emotions, I often pull up an emotion wheel and jot down any emotions that stand out to me. I’ve found that simply identifying and naming what I’m feeling can take away some of its power. Then, when I journal, pray, reflect, and make a plan, I don’t have to be at the mercy of whatever emotion comes my way. I don’t have to be mastered by my emotions. I have agency. I can choose how I respond.
MENTAL
If you choose to step off the carousel, you are choosing a different life. That’s exciting, but it can also be challenging to keep moving forward when the familiar is calling you back.
I’d challenge you to come up with a phrase you can play on repeat in your mind—something short and simple enough to remember when you’re in the middle of a hard moment.
For me, it’s two words:
What if?
What’s your phrase?
PHYSICAL
Our bodies are meant to move, and movement can be fun! What’s your favorite way to move your body?
I’m reclaiming lots of ways to move my body this summer. A few of my favorites are hiking in the woods, paddleboarding, swimming, weightlifting, biking, and step aerobics (who knew this was still a thing?!) So much fun!
Is there any fun movement that you want to reclaim?
RELATIONAL
Change is hard. Ask God who might be an accountability partner for you. We all have a gap between where we are and where we’d like to be in at least a few areas of life.
Being honest and transparent brings our shortcomings out of the realm of shame and into the realm of transformation and support. We often think we’re the only ones who could benefit from accountability and help, but that’s a lie the enemy uses to keep us isolated and defeated.
Pray and ask your heavenly Father who you might invite to walk this journey of change with you. Not only will you have the benefit of receiving support, but you’ll also have the honor of cheering someone else on toward their goals and this new direction.
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